The saying goes, “if they’ll gossip with you, they’ll gossip about you”. Just as getting involved with someone who cheated on their partner to be with you will likely result in you being cheated on, so it goes with those you may think to be in you inner-most circle, and you’ll never know who you can truly trust.
Over the past few months I have sat back as a silent witness to various catfights put on display via various social media outlets (some between people who have never met face-to-face) each stemming from something that “someone told” them and am nothing short of appalled not only in their behavior, but at the cause of it all.
What is it with women and gossiping? Some may point to the fact that it actually helps build bonds in the infancy of relationships. Others will tell of the way it unites otherwise divided groups by offering a common enemy against which an alliance is formed. Several studies, however, shed an entirely different light on the subject- a revealing bit of insight which explicates the notion that gossipers often harbor deeply-rooted insecurities and use breaking others down as a method in which to temporarily boost their self worth.
Generally, women (or people in general) who are confident, secure, and wholly happy with their lives don’t feel the need to degrade people around them in order to obtain satisfaction. Malicious intent does nothing to trigger feelings of accomplishment or pleasure. These women are more likely to build others up, which further increases their fulfillment.
Don’t we, as women (sorry, fellas, if you happen to be reading) have enough people trying to tear us down? Our mothers, grandmothers and theirs before them made great strides in creating the more balanced world in which we live, but there are still so many hurdles we must each clear on a regular basis. Why are we, as we’re running full speed around this track of life, slashing so violently at one another’s Achilles? Will spending hours upon hours so spitefully discussing such trivial matters as another woman’s style or weight, décor or choices that only affect her life really make your existence any more worthwhile? Will your boss or husband or parents be any more proud of the work you have done that day if you have disparaged another?
It’s time that we put an end to the bitch-fests and build one another up. Eliminate the excess stress in your life by cutting out the time and effort spent ripping other women to shreds, and gear that energy toward something more productive. Imagine what we could accomplish if we spent our time encouraging those around us to reach their full potential.
Next time you feel the urge to talk about someone, look within yourself and honestly admit to what it is that you’re lacking, then work to fix that. If you aren’t able to make any headway, try helping someone else. I promise, it’s much more rewarding than walking away having done nothing more than run your mouth.