Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Not Changing My Name (or am I?)

For as long as I can remember I have always said, "if I get married, I'm not changing my name". Why?
  • It's MY name.
  • Over the years I have finally perfected my signature. It's perfect and unique. 
  • I was never the little teeny bopper that signed her name with the boy flavor of the week's last name. 
  • In my local area people know me by my name, and my family's last name. 
  • Accomplishments... I've done them. Not someone else, me. 
  • Mychael said it didn't really bother him either way. 
  • The paperwork...
Photo by: Phenom Photographers

Then, as Mychael and I became more serious and the idea of marriage became more real... I thought.
  • We are creating a new little family. (even if just furkids for now) 
  • I don't want our child(ren) to have a different last name than I do. 
  • Our community will begin to know us as Mr. and Mrs. H
  • He has helped me achieve my accomplishments, and has pushed me to try harder, take bigger leaps. 
  • He changed his mind and would like me to take his last name. 
  • Changing my last name doesn't change who I am. 
  • I want to have a little sign that say (insert family name) est. 2012
  • I want Christmas cards, stationary, etc to have our monogram, or our name as a family on them.
  • Changing my last name doesn't mean I am letting go of my past, or my parents.
  • The paperwork isn't a big deal. I've already checked and started on them.  


27 comments:

  1. I changed my name. In PA, the paperwork was actually pretty simple. For me, the biggest reason was because we were starting a new family together.

    I was always afraid that if I didn't change my name that it was an indication that deep down inside I didn't think the marriage would last.

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  2. This is something that I'm still undecided on as well, and we actually talked about this last night!

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  3. I always knew I wanted to change my name when I got married. There were however a few I knew wouuldn't work. Like if I married a Hood I'd be Robin Hood... not gonna happen! Luckily I now have a pretty cool, mostly unique new last name. The paperwork, then thusly changing it for every account under the sun was a big hassle, but it's done now. I highly recommend it!

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  4. i felt the same exact way of changing my last name. Than I thought I would hypen my name. I am still torn between it all but I have a feeling when it comes around I will change my last name to just his.

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  5. I never even thought about not changing my name. And if you're still on the fence, I know a couple people that dropped their middle name and made their maiden name their middle name. You have options. But I love your "to change" reasons far more than your "not to change" reasons.

    xoxo Amber

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  6. I never planned on changing my name -- for many of the same reasons. But now, almost two years after we got married, we're having a baby and I realized I want to have the same last name as my children and their father. I actually just got the paperwork submitted and my new social security card and drivers license last week.

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  7. It took me a few years to add his last name to my name. I hyphenated, I don't want to give up my last name. The reason I decided to even hyphenate is because I don't want my children to have a different last name. Most of the time I go by just his last name anyway, because so many people don't know or realize I kept my last name., and I don't mind.

    Timmy did not care if I took his name or not, so I made the choice myself! While I agree with all your reasons for taking your husbands name, I still don't think I should have to give mine up. So I got the best of both worlds!

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  8. It took me 3 years to change my last name, and as much as I would have loved to hyphenate, could you imagine my maiden name combined with ANY other name? Hello, writer's cramp! You and the mister are beginning a wonderful journey together and you've been together long enough that (in my mind, anyway) you already are Mrs. H ;)

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  9. We're getting married next year, nearly three years after our boy was born. I never imagined myself getting married, never mind changing my name. But once E was born, my opinions totally changed. Now, I honestly feel a bit like I'm not apart of a really awesome club, so we're doing this. I think it's a really personal choice and either way is totally fine, but definitely something to think about

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  10. I never thought I would change mine, until it came time to get married. Then it just felt right. Even though we're like y'all, just fur babies, we're still a little family, and I wanted us both to have the same name :)

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  11. I didn't have the option.... In Quebec, you do not legally change your name when you get married anyone. I hyphenated my name on FB, but everywhere else I'm the same old Lena I always was. ;)
    Funny, though, the kids haven't asked me yet why my name it's different than theirs...

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  12. I changed my name, but at the same time I didn't. Most girls drop their actually middle name, and keep their maiden name as their new middle. I kept my given middle name and dropped my maiden name.

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  13. It's a personal decision. I never changed my name; I've always felt like I wanted to keep my already-established name along with my already-established identity.

    The furbaby has my last name (on his veterinary records).

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  14. To me it wasn't a big deal. It's my new name for my family. With that last name, I will start new traditions as was done with my maiden name.

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  15. I was apprehensive about changing my name too and sometimes I still get a little sad but I really am proud of my married name. The only paperwork that was bad was outside of actual legal stuff. For example, paypal is complicated so it still has my maiden name and probably always will.

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  16. I was right there with you, too, but I knew it was important to my husband, so I changed it:)

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  17. I made my maiden name my middle name and took on his last name. The paperwork was a cinch and there are still a few places I have to change (like my passport) but I officially have a new last name. :) I also like that in my work email and all that I still have my maiden name there too... if I want it!

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  18. I was married twice and my daughter was with my first husband. It was really hard to stay the same last name as my daughter or take my new husbands name. I chose to take my new husbands but I would love for my husband to take adopt her so that we can change hers as well. New chapter in life.

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  19. Yeaaaaaah. I don't know.
    you're talking to a pretty jaded lady, friend.

    I changed my name the first time around. Got screwed. And still have that name.

    Now I feel excited to move onto a name (my middle name, actually) that will remain MINE forever.

    If you want his name, babe, I say go for it. Love it. Embrace it. Let all of the optimism of a full and wonderful life together envelop you and take you over. Been there.
    Only you know what is right for YOU, and either way, it won't take away from that amazing relationship you two have...

    Love to you, doll.
    xo

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  20. I debated for a while too. I'm glad I changed mine! The paper work is not as bad as its cracked up to be.

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  21. I changed my last name, and I'm glad I did! I had a pros and cons list and the pros for me outweighed the cons :) It's so much fun to be called "the ____'s"

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  22. If I ever get married, I will not be changing my last name. I am dead set on that and have been my whole life. If my "future husband" cannot deal with that, then he's not the right guy for me. I'm proud of my last name, it defines me, and I feel changing a person's last name to that of the person's you marry signifies ownership, something I'm not ok with but I fully respect someone's wishes to change their last name, it just isn't for me!

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  23. I can see your points, for sure. I'm sure the paperwork would be a pain in some things. When I get married, I will change my last name. Mine is boring, haha!

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  24. I had very similar pro/con lists. While I kinda always knew I'd change it, I had big attachment issues to my maiden name. But, in the end, the paperwork wasn't a big deal & coming from a unique Middle Eastern last name, I kind of like the anonymity that Williams gives me :)

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  25. I was hesitant about changing mine at first too but like you said, we are going to be starting our own family and I want us all to have the same name.

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  26. I kept my last name when I got married, and am so glad I did it. At first, I wasn't really sure, and the more I thought about the more sense it made to me. A family is a family and we all know in this day and age they look like different things - the relationships are what's important. I wrote about why I kept my name, why it worked for me and my answers to a lot of the same concerns you have here: http://roxanneblogs.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/on-why-i-kept-my-last-name/

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